OK, maybe not for profit, but I guess it could be fun. :)

If you're like me, you don't want to have to guess when your dog has to go outside and do his or her business. The whole nose-sniffing thing isn't always accurate, and waiting until you see them crossing their legs and doing the pee-pee dance just ain't cool. Enter my suggestion: learn how to bell train your dog.

Bell training your dog is super easy, and all you need are a few things:

• A bell. Any kind will do, but I suggest a mini-cowbell, around 2"x2", that you can find at any decent pet/feed store, thrift shop, or craft store.
• A ribbon or string of some kind. You'll want to make it sturdy enough to withstand your dog knocking it around with its nose.
• A door. Or was that not obvious? :)

Tie said bell to the ribbon and attach it to the aforementioned door. Make sure the ribbon hangs down low enough for your dog (or especially puppy) to walk up to it and be able to touch it with its nose.

Now for the "fun" part: every time you take your dog outside (and I do mean ever single time, friend), whether it's that "Oh hey she's sniffing the floor. Go! Go! Go!" moment, it's too late because the pup has made a wee-wee or a doodle on your new Oriental rug, or even if you're just going outside to stare at your hot new neighbor (make sure to send a picture to your Internet friend @halfbrown!), walk your dog to the door and make her tap her nose on the bell enough to make a sound. Given enough time & consistency doing this (about 2 weeks in my experience), your dog will make that connection on his/her own and will ring the bell every time it has to go.

A few caveats to this whole process are:

• Dogs quickly learn that they can train you to get up from the couch to open the door at their every whim. They especially love to do it on sunny days when they don't have to go potty but want to lay in the sun. They also enjoy watching you miss part of Lost because you have to leave the living room to open the door. Don't worry about it too much, you'll learn when they really do or don't have to go when they ring, and after a while they give up on trying to mess with you.
• If you have a very dainty dog (like our whippet), they sometimes won't ring the bell loud enough. If this is the case, then you'll need to keep on the training and make sure they whack the bell real good.
• If you have a bruiser of a dog (like our Lab/Rottweiler mix), they'll beat the hell out of the bell and will make the paint around where the bell hangs chip eventually. I consider this a small price to pay for not having a rug with pee on it. I can repaint that part of the door, but cleaning up a deuce on the area rug is just gross.

Good luck!